


New Heart for X-mas

by OtherCrazyThing



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 20:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8815843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtherCrazyThing/pseuds/OtherCrazyThing
Summary: after-split and Christmas spirit





	

It’s snowing outside. No sun and grey sky create a depressive picture behind the window. Three months before the spring starts. But now… all what Ryan can see is an endless dull and snowy landscape. 

A Christmas tree’s twinkling in the corner of the room. The fire’s crackling in the old fireplace. Ryan’s standing near the window looking outside, deep in his thoughts. 

Yesterday he called Brendon, but Brendon didn’t pick up. Ryan sent him a message, but got no answer back. 

He wrote: _Please come to my place. I have a present for you._

At the back of his mind Ryan knows – Brendon won’t come. Why should he? They haven’t spoken for ages, haven’t seen each other since summer and now, out of the blue Ryan invites him for a little tete-a-tete Christmas party? Of course, Brendon won’t come. 

Ryan shakes his head. That was stupid. He’s so naïve to believe that Brendon would come. God, now he wishes he didn’t call him or send messages or was trying to get Brendon’s attention any other way. 

Ryan sighs and sits in one of the armchairs in front of fully laid table. 

“I’m an idiot,” he says under his breath and pours the champagne in two thin glasses. 

A ring at the door makes him choke. 

“Holy shit,” he coughs and wiping the drops of the drink off his shirt heads for the door. 

“Brendon?” he breathes out, “What are you doing here?”

“Um, you sent me a message, remember?” Brendon smiles sheepishly. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” suddenly Ryan doesn’t know what to say and what to do, “Come on in.”

Brendon does and everything seems to become still for Ryan.

Brendon’s cheeks are pink and his eyes are bright from the frost outside and few still alive snowflakes are lying on his hair. Beautiful as ever. 

“Why aren’t you wearing a cap? It’s cold,” Ryan asks aimlessly. 

“Uh,” Brendon rubs his neck in confusion, “Is that what you’ve invited me here for? To lecture me like my mum?”

Ryan blinks, then smiles. 

“Actually,” he starts and the world becomes brighter for a second because he notices a tiny smile in the corner of Brendon’s lips, “Well, take your coat off and come on in the living-room”.

+++

“Oh, you’ve got prepared,” Brendon says when he sees the lights and the tree and the table. 

Ryan blushes. 

“Well, yeah,” he’s out of words again, “I thought you wouldn’t come.” he adds quietly. He looks everywhere but not at Brendon. 

“Champagne?” he offers. 

“Sounds good.”

It’s awkward. Hands’re shaking and words stuck somewhere in the throat. A glass slips out of his fingers and breaks into tiny shiny pieces against the wooden floor. 

“Shit,” Ryan says, “Sorry, wait a minute, I’ll get one more from the kitchen.”

And he almost storms out of the room. 

+++

In the kitchen Ryan takes three deep shaky breathes in as if he’s been without air for 5 minutes. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispers looking for a glass. When he’s found one, he just can’t make himself get back to the living-room. He leans against the wall and closes his eyes trying to calm down. 

What now? What is he going to do now? Goddamn message’s turned everything upside down. It’d be better he wouldn’t send it. Then his almost set stream of life wouldn’t be ruined so quickly. 

But now all that mixture of feelings emotions and memories returns as if it never fades away and makes him tremble at only one thought that everything may come back. He could have Brendon again, he could bring that madness and those sleepless nights back, he could… 

“Ryan?” he hears, “Have you fallen asleep here?”

Ryan startles and makes himself smile when he sees Brendon’s face right before his. 

“Um, no,” Ryan gives him a glass, “Here you are. Don’t break it,” he jokes stupidly.

Brendon takes a glass and their fingers brush for a moment. Time stands still. Ryan feels Brendon’s watching him but simply can’t meet that glance. 

“Brendon,” he whispers and tries to shake off the touch, “Let’s come back to the living room, I have a present for you and…”

Soft lips muffle the rest of the sentence and Ryan shudders kissing back. God, he’s missed that, missed those lips on his and familiar scent of the body, Brendon’s body, and Ryan curls his fingers into Brendon's neck to pull him closer. 

When they’re out of breath, Brendon rests his forehead against Ryan’s. 

“I missed you,” he says. 

“I missed you too,” Ryan kisses his temple and hugs the other boy tightly, “I didn’t mean to lose you. Not in that way.”

Brendon says nothing but clings his arms tighter around Ryan’s waist. 

“You said you have a present for me?” Brendon asks without breaking the embrace and Ryan hears a smile in his voice. 

“Yeah,” Ryan says taking Brendon’s hand and pulls him towards the room. 

The End.


End file.
